Monday, February 10, 2014

The Rules of Social Anxiety

1. Walk with eyes fixed on the ground 
They are watching, laughing, judging
Walk normal
Don’t focus on it too much or you will stumble and be made a fool

2. Look like you are writing and busy in class
avoid being called on
you know the answer but what if you stutter or mumble
What if they tell you “speak up I can’t hear you”

3. Don’t make a noise
hold in that cough that sneeze that breathe
people will hear you 
do not draw attention to yourself like that

4. Spend time every night before you go to bed to think
Think about all the embarrassing things you have ever done
Everyone remembers, that’s all they remember

5. Never enter a room full of people
They all look
Why are you here?
Why are you alive?

6. Your friends all secretly hate you
you know why they didn’t reply to your text
you know how they all dread seeing you
you are only put up with because of pity

7. Always be scared
Scared to sit next to a stranger
Scared to see someone you know
Scared eat in front of people
Scared to talk on the phone
Scared to go to social events
Scared order at a restaurant
Scared to talk
Scared to have a panic attack
Scared to be noticed

Always scared
but don’t worry,
you don’t like people anyway,
at least that’s what you say,
you’re “antisocial”
You don’t even care what they think, people are annoying,
that’s what you tell them.
You play it off as a joke
but really you’re always scared.

—  Anonymous  (via dharmabloom)

Sunday, February 9, 2014

I wonder...

I wonder how does stepping out of the house feeling confident feels. Whether it's going to school, hanging out with people, etc. I wonder how does looking in the mirror and being happy with how I look feels. I wonder how does not giving a fuck about everything feels. I wonder how it's like feeling free and happy. I wonder how does falling in love with someone who loves you just as much feels. I wonder how it's like having the same friend with you for more than 10 years feels. I wonder how it'll be like feeling like I'm the happiest girl in the entire world. I wonder how it's like feeling like I'm good in certain area, like I'm actually good at something. I wonder.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

She Looks So Perfect - 5 Seconds of Summer


She Looks So Perfect is just perfect, well for me at least. Totally not what I was expecting but I was not disappointed at all. It was only out yesterday and I've already watched/ listened to it god knows how many times so go check it out! So proud of the boys, first singleee. Is it hi or hey? Apparently it's hey. x

hey hey, hey hey
hey hey, hey hey
hey hey, hey hey
hey hey, hey hey

Simmer down, simmer down
they say were too young now to amount to anything else
but look around we work too damn hard for this
just to give it up now

if you don't swim you'll drown
but don't move honey

she looks so perfect just standing there
in my american apparel underwear
and i know now that I'm so down

your lipstick stain is a work of art
i got your name tattooed in an arrow heart
and i know now that I'm so down

hey hey, hey hey
hey hey. hey hey
hey hey

lets get out lets get out cause this deadbeats town's
only here just to keep us down
while i was out I've found myself alone
just thinking if i showed up with a plane ticket
and a shiny diamond ring with your name on it
would you wanna run away too?

cause all i really want is you
she looks so perfect standing there
in my american apparel underwear
and i know now that I'm so down

i made a mix tape straight out of 94
I've got your ripped skinny jeans lying on the floor
and i know now that I'm so down

hey hey, hey hey
hey hey, hey hey
hey hey

looks so perfect standing there
in my american apparel underwear
and i know now that I'm so down
your lipstick stain is a work of art
I've got your name tattooed in an arrow heart
and i know now that I'm so down

hey hey, hey hey
hey hey, hey hey
hey hey

she looks so perfect standing there
in my american apparel underwear
and i know now that I'm so down

your lipstick stain is a work of art
I've got your name tattooed in an arrow heart
and i know now that I'm so down

Friday, February 7, 2014

Short weekly update

This week has been pretty tiring, hectic and horrible. Many assignments to be done, stressing out for end semester test, last minute troubles and I've just been really really tired. Exam's in 2 weeks and I've yet started on anything and I still have  so much assignments due next week. I'm so so sick of school. My brain is also barely working today, hence me embarrassing myself because I have no idea what I thought my friend was saying when he asked if I would like to meet up to study. Also, have been having super weird dreams or just couldn't sleep lately and my dark circles are getting bad to worst. Help. Can't wait to semester 2 to end!!

Monday, February 3, 2014

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Happy Chinese New Year

Happy Chinese New Year guys, hope you guys have an amazing time! New years eve reunion dinner was amazing, had all my favourite food for steamboat. Chinese New Year was great this year too, mahjong, food and such! Didn't take any outfit shots or any photos to be exact as I didn't look good lol, as usual! x