After 3 - Tessa's Religious Class Diary [Pain]

"Does pain turn people away from their god? If so, how?

Pain can turn anyone away from just about anything. Pain is capable of causing you to do things you would never consider doing, such as blaming God for your pain.

Pain.. such a simple word that holds so much inside. I have come to learn that pain is the strongest emotion one can feel. Unlike every other emotion, there is no upside to pain, no positive notion that can make you look at the pain from a different perspective, there is only pain. Lately I have become very well acquainted with pain, the ache has nearly become unbearable. Sometimes when I'm alone, which is more often than not as of recently, I find myself trying to decide which type of pain is worse. The answer isn't as simple as I thought it would be. The slow and steady aching pain, the type of pain that comes when you've been hurt repeatedly by the same person yet here you are, here I am, allowing the pain to continue, it never ends. Only in those rare moments when he pulls me to his chest and makes promises that he never seems able to keep, does the pain disappear. Just as I get used to the freedom, my freedom my self inflicted pain, it returns with another blow.

I have decided that the hot, burning, inescapable pain is the worst. This pain comes when you finally begin to relax, you finally breathe, thinking that the pain is yesterday's problem when in fact it's today's problem, tomorrow's, and every day after that. This pain comes when you pour everything into something, into someone, and they betray you so suddenly that the pain crushes you and you feel as if you are barely breathing, barely holding on to that small fraction of whatever is left inside of you begging you to go on, not to give up.

Sometimes it's faith that people hold onto, sometimes, if you're lucky enough you can confide in someone else and trust them to pull you out of the pain before you dwell in it for too long. Pain is one of those hideous places that once you visited you have to fight your way out and even when you think you have escaped you are permanently branded. If you're like me, you don't have anyone to depend on, no one to take your hand and assure you that you will make it through this hell. Instead, you have to lace up your boots, grab your own hand and pull yourself out."

Written by Anna (aka imaginator1D on Wattpad)

Wattpad.

If you have no idea what Wattpad is, it is an online thing for people to write their own stories and then put them online for people to read. It has many different category, for examples, some of the more popular ones would be Fan Fictions and Teen Fictions. They also have others like Romance, Science Fiction, Action and more. They have some really really good ones like 'My Wattpad Love', which I've already read so many times and it still gets to me. Also there's the many series of stories written by Belwatson. And also plenty of fan fictions. It's amazing how many directioners are such good artists and writers. Sadly, I'm not one of them.

I've been reading plenty and plenty of stories from it's App since the start of this year? You can name lots of amazing Fan Fictions and Teen Fictions and most likely they are those that I've already read. You guys might think that it's really weird when people write/ read fan fictions but it's actually not if you ask me (maybe because I read them). To me, it's like using the artist's name/ some information of his to make a story so it's like different and not really about the artist but some imaginary character, y'know? Sometimes that character don't even fit the artist. SO yea.

But anyway, I've been reading too much Fan Fiction to the extent that I've no more good ones to read, which makes me turn to the next category, Teen Fiction. And I realised what's popular among the writers of Teen Fictions is that it's either they tag the same stories with Fan Fiction or they write about this love story about bad boys and sarcastic nerds, which is actually really really interesting even though their story lines are around the same.

The good thing about Wattpad is that most of the stories are short like 30-60+ pages/ parts. I am someone with super short attention span so unless the book is really interesting, I can never finish a book, so it's a good thing that they have interesting and short stories here in wattpad. And I love how I always always get so so engrossed to those that I've read, if I'm not then I will just remove it and stop reading cause there's still plenty waiting for me. :O  

And what sucks now is that whatever I've read aren't "completed", which means that those stories have not ended and will still be updated when the writers finished the next part or when it's the next schedule to update it which is so so so sad! And I'm now waiting for this Fan Fiction called "Harry Potter VS Twilight" to be completed so I can start reading!! It seems pretty cool! And since I'm a fan of both movies, I need to read this! (':

I don't normally read those that are not 'completed' but they are the only nice ones left, and I can't live without Wattpad now. Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. But they really do have amazing stories. And I'm not only talking about the Fan Fictions.

Oh my god, sorry for blabbering. I just feel like talking about Wattpad all of a sudden. And please do not find me weird. But even if you do it's alright, I know plenty of people who would totally understand how I feel and people who can't stop reading stories from Wattpad too so...

xo